Home early...

Why is it that the first thing I do when I get home is sit down and turn on my laptop? No assignments as an excuse; everything has been handed it already. Nope, it's to get on this blog and talk loudly to the ether. I have one reader, the Fat Controller. That alone makes it worth it to keep posting this public diary.

I'm boggled. This afternoon has cracked my head open and lightly scrambled the insides. I skipped second class to hang out with other students from the first. The lawn was crowded as always with pockets of students laying about on the grass probably discussing some complicated philosophy or chemical formulas. Alicia, a small, dark and pretty girl in my class who generally I do not like called over a passing friend to join us. Horror of horrors but I found him pretty attractive. It's one thing to find fellow female students attractive, but boys my own age is something else altogether. Dan is tall, broad shouldered, skinny. Long mop of light brown curly hair, greyish eyes, ears that stick out a bit. Like a stretched fairy tale elf. Tolkein-ish. Don't call me a nerd; I am a student of literature afterall. He dressed as most boys do these days: too tight jeans, loose t-shirt with colourful graphic that looks like it has been slept in. Huge shoes, meaning I suppose huge feet. A lazy looking face with a wide mouth and quite a long nose. What is it with me and noses. Completely not what I'm into. Usually I want to be possessed by the men I like. This was the total opposite; I wanted him in the way that I always wanted a puppy when I was a kid, seeing it as something cute to be owned, controlled and loved. I don't know what to think. I'm certainly not going to pursue it. It looks as though Alicia is pretty interested anyway, the way she leant against his shoulder and kept flicking his hair out of his eyes. Adorable and sickening. I doubt he noticed me at all. He doesn't suit my lifestyle anyway. But it's definitely a thought to save for later.