Off my chest

So I never expanded because I was trying to block it out. But to summarise, one night I was hanging out at Richard's pub, chatting to one of his lovely bartenders, Ben, who is becoming a friend especially since my two best friends have accompanied me for drinks a couple of times. Not only is he a great mixer, but a very funny and generous server. I digress. I was on my own that night, eating some dinner and hanging around waiting and hoping that Richard would get his duties over and done with early. Anthony came in with some workmates. I had no idea he ever came into this pub, considering I hadn't seen him all that time. They'd clearly had a few by that time, and Anthony broke away from his group, swaggered up to the bar and threw an arm around my shoulder and said to Ben that he would have a beer and that I could have whatever I wanted on him. Ben, absolutely professional to the end, poured his beer and then another glass of cranberry and soda for me and made the exchange without a word. Anthony was squeezing me very tight and I was pretty alarmed and everything and didn't know what to do. Ben tried to remove me by squinting obviously to the back of the pub and said 'Oh I see our friends have arrived, why don't I walk you over?' but Anthony just said 'No, no. She's with me. You're going to have a drink or two with me before we go home.' Oh God it was so awful and shaming and I thought I'd cry from sheer embarrassment. To summarise it was something like that for another 20 minutes before Ben tore away from the bar to get Richard, which in retrospect probably wasn't the best idea. Richard came downstairs looking like thunder, pulled Anthony's arm from me and ensued an argument that became very loud and very rude. It ended with shoving, attempted punches and then the pub's lone security guard and two waitstaff dragging Anthony outside as his group of mates meekly followed.

Yes it was awful. And then I was taken upstairs to Richard's office to have a drink and calm down. He looked quite angry and I got yelled at rather badly, which doesn't happen to me often, and frankly terrified me. It's one thing to have a woman yell at you, but when it was a man and one that I cared about very much, I felt quite frightened and like I wanted to die. Mostly it was about consorting with the wrong sort of people and being careful and that he hoped now that he was around that I would never try it on so easily with another man again. I couldn't promise him anything obviously. He has some claim on me now, but that's hardly going to last forever. I got bundled into a cab and sent home.

Richard came by later, around midnight and when I saw him I cried (like the pathetic girl I sometimes am) and he held me and we went to bed. Having sex when your heart feels broken can be mending.